Sunday, April 25, 2010

Who said a 24 year old should be so obssessed with the future???

"For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain."  — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have."

— Socrates

I am sitting at home, after a wonderfully fulfilling night with my parents and sister (spaghetti and euchre... what in the world could be better???!!), and I feel content for the first time in so long. And it made me think...

Why do we (or maybe just I) spend so much time planning for the future, looking forward to the next great thing in our life, wishing for those "good old days"? Why do I struggle to be content with today? To LOVE today? To live IN today, and not just live THROUGH it? I am at a complete loss as to how one goes about a lifestyle, living for the day, each one as a wonderful amazing piece of life?? I seem to always be looking at the next thing in my lafe and saying once again... "I'm finally going to be doing something I love"... like with medical school, or going to Haiti? But what if, while I am doing those things, all I do is work through mundane days, looking forward to the next "good day". The elusive "great day".

I have had great days, but I haven't allowed myself to live each day in love with my life and my God. I'm so worried about the future... Is that my personality, this culture, my parents, expectations? I am DYING to get out of this mundane, "get by", live for tomorrow attitude that seems to be seared into my brain.

HOW??? any ideas???

Not that I am not looking forward to going to Haiti, but I just don't want to look back on this time (more down time... good for over-analyzing ones actions and attitudes and selfishness) and wish I had appreciated it instead rather than wishing for the next thing in my life to happen.

I need some good life lessons from someone who lives and enjoys the day for what it is... a great life, full of whatever could be asked for. Know of anyone???

On a side note, I'm not convinced that in a cat and dog fight, the cat would lose... seems to me all the dogs I know share a common fear of cats and their weird noises... Good night.

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